Being homesick

It's me, it's Annabel, I'm back.
It feels so awkward to write a post on this blog, it's been more than 5 months since I wrote the last one.
It's almost half a year since I'm back. I don't really know how to describe how I feel about all of this. It's awkward. It's so awkward to think "today one year ago I was in Latvia and I did this and this...".
The first time back in Germany was the hardest. I felt confused, by the language, the people around me, the German way of life. And I felt confused because slowly I realized that it's over. My exchange is over. Forever. I will not get this time back. It will never be the same again.
But I kept it in my heart. In my memory. In this blog - which is actually the only diary that I wrote during the whole year.
And just now I realized that I'm homesick. I'm homesick for Latvia. I didn't really believe it at first, because the time there was quite rough sometimes and it wasn't always great and everything. But that's life. I miss my second home so much. I miss the people, my second family, all of my hostsiblings and my hostparents. I miss Rīga and I miss Suntaži. I miss the latvian traditions as well as the latvian nature. I miss the latvian music and the latvian language. I think in Latvian sometimes, just because I miss hearing it so much. And every time I realize that I forgot another latvian word, I get sad.
I want to go back to Latvia. I want to go back home.
That doesn't mean that it isn't good home in Germany. I'm happy to be here. But I have two homes now, and that's quite difficult.
Es mīlu tevi, Latvija.
I love you, Latvia.

To everyone who is still reading this blog:
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Love,
Annabel

Coming home

I'm in Germany for 15 days now, and in my german home with my german family for 11 days.

I left Latvia on monday, the 27th of june. My hostmom and my four hostsisters brought me to the airport. When we reached the airport, Alma asked "Vai Annabella šeit dzivo?", what means "Does Annabel live here? ". For the little girls saying goodbye wasn't hard, because they didn't really understand that it's not just for a few days. After we checked in my suitcases and waited for my check in, one of the little girls asked if the whole family (including me) can leave now after we gave the suitcases away, because she thought that now, after we spent so much time at the airport and gave my stuff away, that's enough, and we should go back home.
When it was time to say goodbye, I put myself together, and hugged everyone, until I reached the last person to hug, my hostsister Amanda (she left Latvia 4 days later than I did), and then I just started crying, and the way to the check in through a labyrinth of Lufthansa fences felt like hours. My family waited and waved until I was through the check in. The Lufthansa guy at the check in looked a bit confused because I was crying very much. So when I had to empty my laptop bag and he saw the 8 books which I hid in there, he just said nothing and ignored it as well as my hand luggage trolley which had at least 2 kilos more than it should. After I passed through the check in, I stopped crying and just waited for the boarding with the other exchange students.
We flew to Berlin with a stop in Frankfurt, and probably it just happened randomly, but our flight from Frankfurt to Berlin went from the gate A14. That was the gate were 10 months earlier, a flight went from Frankfurt to Rīga, Latvia, and all of us were it's passengers. Being at that gate again felt strange. And a lot of us felt like the whole exchange was just a dream. It felt like we have been sitting at that gate to go on exchange just a few days ago, even though it was 10 months.

Between leaving Latvia and coming to my german home there was the YES. YES stands for "Young European Seminar".
It took place close to Berlin.
The participants were all exchange students from Europe who also spent their year Europe.
Maybe I'm going to write more about the YES in another post, but right now I mostly want to write about coming home.
These days at the YES between leaving Latvia and meeting my family actually really helped me and also most of the other exchange students, because there was kind of a break between our two lives. We just needed some time and we needed to talk. And it's never easier than with 700 other exchange students around.

On friday, the 1st of july, our bus left around 9 o'clock in the morning from Berlin, and we reached Karlsruhe about 12 hours later, at 9 o'clock in the evening. I got picked up by my parents and my little sister. Again there was some crying, but I was actually very happy. Because one of the most important things I learned on exchange is that I have an extraordinary amazing family at home.
I was home, and on my first day at home, I already met my family and friends at my welcome home party. It was great to see them again, and it felt as if I never left.
Still, while driving home in the bus and also for the first few days back home, I had this strange feeling all the time, which as I talked to some other exchange students, they had, too. It's hard to describe, but I'd describe it as "feeling way to much and nothing at all at the same time". It felt like I was feeling all the existing feelings at once and still I felt completely empty. Day after day this feeling slowly got less, and today it's almost gone and I feel normal again.

To the future exchange students who are reading this blog: Coming home feels freaking awkward. But you'll get over that strange feeling, and it will be good again.

I'm not really sure yet, but this might be the last post (or at least one of them) on this blog.
So I want to say thank you! Thank you for going through this year with me! Thank you for checking how I'm doing! Thank you for your support!

I hope you have a wonderful day, week, month, year, a wonderful life.

I'll give you one advise which I learned during exchange:
Make the best out of every situation. Take every chance you get. And never ever ever give up.

Kind regards,
Annabel

The end

It's crazy how time flies. I have the feeling that this last days are running through my hands like sand and I just can't hold them. The last month felt like a week. People say that when something is good, the time passes fast, while when something is bad or boring, it seems to stand still. That's true (at least for me). This last month was the very best of my whole year. I found a real second family. Yesterday, my youngest hostsister Lauma called me her real sister for the first time. (Before that, she always said I'm her half-sister because I only stayed a month.) Finally, all is good. Finally, I feel home. And in 2 days - I have to leave. Today I'm going to pack. It feels so unreal that it's soon gonna be over. I fear saying goodbye. Because when I said goodbye to my german family 10 months ago, it was only for 10 months. But this time, it will be forever. Of course I can come back, and I definitely will, but this special year, this time of my life - it will be over.
I learned so much in this year, maybe not about maths or physics, but about life. About happiness. About friendship and family.
I have to leave this country and this people, but I will take home all my memories. And they will stay with me forever.

I will now finish this post and have a great last time with my family.

Have a great time, too!
Annabel

By The Sea / Baron Munchausen Museum

The last weekend we spend by the sea. We stayed in a holiday home which was located less then 5 minutes from the sea. But in there, we spend only the night, because it was so beautiful by the sea. It was the first time, I was actually swimming in the baltic sea (and not just walking in it). The temperature was okay, not too cold.

On sunday, we went to a Baron Munchausen (Freiherr von Münchhausen) museum. In Latvian, his name written ''Minhauzens''. The Germans reading this probably know who Munchausen is, so did I. For the others: He was a german baron. He lived in Riga for some years, where he also found a latvian wife. That's why he's also known to some Latvians. He is most famous for the tales he told about his adventures, which in most cases definitely are complete bullshit (Lügenbaron), but people enjoyed listening to his stories because back in that days (where TV, computer etc. didn't exist) it was great entertainment. If you're interested in the guy and his tales, you can find a lot about him on the internet.
On the second floor of this museum was a small exhibition of wax sculptures, all of them famous Latvians. Also, there was a collection of beer glasses from all over the world. I didn't really get the combination of this three things, but they were all interesting to watch.

I only have one photo from the beach (because I didn't take my camera there), but I took many in the Munchausen museum.

I hope you have a great day!
Annabel

Open air museum

This sunday, we've been to the open air museum in Riga. I've already been there in winter, but it's  way more beautiful in summer.
There, my hostmum and my hostbrother sang folksongs with their choir. After they were finished, we walked through the museum.
I don't really know what else to write about that trip, but I took lots of photos, so I'll just add them.

Have a wonderful day!
Annabel

No water

Last week I was standing under the shower, singing and thinking about life, when the water suddenly got less and less, until it fully stopped. Luckily I was already done with cleaning myself, so I grabbed my towel, and went to ask my hostfather what happened. It turned out that the water was finished. During the whole last year it has rained extremely seldom, less than 10 times, and we live on the country in a household with 8 people, so our water was just gone.
I never understood what it means to have no water until I had to face this situation myself. No water for showering, using the dishwasher, the washing machine, the toilet flush, no water for cooking and lastly also no water to drink. I luckily spent this day in a friends house, who still had water. When I arrived back home, it had rained a bit, so there was water to drink and cook. On the next day, the water stopped again. That made us get a little bit crazy, because we also didn't know when it will rain again.
To use the word "luckily" a third time in this text, luckily in the next days it rained a few times. I've never been so happy to look out of the window and see rain.

Be thankful for what you have,
I wish you a great day!

Annabel

The end is coming close

20 days.
For the first time in this year I'm actually feeling home in a place, and now I have to leave it soon.
Last weekend we had our last YFU camp in Cēsis, where we talked about saying goodbye the entire saturday. For me, it was quite useless, because I already said goodbye to my classmates before I moved to Suntaži, and to the family I lived in before I came here I didn't really say goodbye (actually they didn't, except two of them). Saying goodbye to the family where I'm now is going to be difficult, but not as much as if I had lived here for 10 months. Luckily the 6-hour talk about saying goodbye didn't only bore me, because many of us think that you shouldn't plan saying goodbye in every little detail.
So after this was over, in the evening we had a little goodbye ceremony and after that we sat at the campfire, grilled marshmallows, and sang songs with the guitar. That was the best part of the whole day. In the end, only the german girl who played the guitar and I were left, and we still continued singing, until we had no more song ideas (we had no songbook, so we were singing a lot of different stuff that randomly came into our heads).
On the next day, our hostfamilies also came to Cēsis, and we had a little goodbye party.

I'm having a good time in Suntaži now, I'm happy. Right now for the next few days in our family also lives a woman from the USA, because my hostmom is a social worker, as well as this woman, and she kinda participates in a social worker exchange program. And I'm very happy because she told me that I don't have a german accent and that she didn't recognise me as a german from the way I'm talking english. So I might not have learned perfect latvian in this year, but at least my english got very fluent. And since I'm here in Suntaži talking with the little girls a lot, my latvian also improves, maybe not in grammar, but in fluency.

Have a great day!