It's me, it's Annabel, I'm back.
It feels so awkward to write a post on this blog, it's been more than 5 months since I wrote the last one.
It's almost half a year since I'm back. I don't really know how to describe how I feel about all of this. It's awkward. It's so awkward to think "today one year ago I was in Latvia and I did this and this...".
The first time back in Germany was the hardest. I felt confused, by the language, the people around me, the German way of life. And I felt confused because slowly I realized that it's over. My exchange is over. Forever. I will not get this time back. It will never be the same again.
But I kept it in my heart. In my memory. In this blog - which is actually the only diary that I wrote during the whole year.
And just now I realized that I'm homesick. I'm homesick for Latvia. I didn't really believe it at first, because the time there was quite rough sometimes and it wasn't always great and everything. But that's life. I miss my second home so much. I miss the people, my second family, all of my hostsiblings and my hostparents. I miss Rīga and I miss Suntaži. I miss the latvian traditions as well as the latvian nature. I miss the latvian music and the latvian language. I think in Latvian sometimes, just because I miss hearing it so much. And every time I realize that I forgot another latvian word, I get sad.
I want to go back to Latvia. I want to go back home.
That doesn't mean that it isn't good home in Germany. I'm happy to be here. But I have two homes now, and that's quite difficult.
Es mīlu tevi, Latvija.
I love you, Latvia.
To everyone who is still reading this blog:
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Love,
Annabel
